chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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