glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
it's like heaven, but drunker
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
