OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I will be naked everywhere
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
