did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize