remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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