I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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