fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
