ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.