Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.