he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That Theyâ€™ll Regret Forever
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesnâ€™t Understand
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry