Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I cannot find my penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I cannot find my penis. http://tfl.nu/w331
  Replies (32) Good night (681) Bad night (2312) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse. http://tfl.nu/lj3p
  Replies (16) Good night (4927) Bad night (741) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement. http://tfl.nu/6va8
  Replies (20) Good night (4657) Bad night (843) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter. http://tfl.nu/87g5
  Replies (53) Good night (1855) Bad night (13635) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard. http://tfl.nu/47cs
  Replies (13) Good night (3117) Bad night (1353) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park http://tfl.nu/d8es
  Replies (7) Good night (2766) Bad night (890) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment. http://tfl.nu/tvxk
  Replies (1) Good night (1063) Bad night (2287) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole. http://tfl.nu/sdc1
  Replies (9) Good night (1684) Bad night (349) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day http://tfl.nu/wum7
  Replies (9) Good night (1040) Bad night (469) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (620): I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender. http://tfl.nu/s55r
  Replies (5) Good night (1305) Bad night (219) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment. http://tfl.nu/wo3z
  Replies (5) Good night (1149) Bad night (313)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :) http://tfl.nu/7aie
  Replies (1) Good night (611) Bad night (164) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes http://tfl.nu/7wy7
  Replies (6) Good night (363) Bad night (627) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night. http://tfl.nu/009v
  Replies (4) Good night (363) Bad night (739) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me http://tfl.nu/vrj3
  Replies (1) Good night (344) Bad night (326) Order T-Shirt

Randomize