the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?