I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
