my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he puts the penis in happiness.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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