How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
