scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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