im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize