I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I smell stomach acid.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
