Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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