You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
