whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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