I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You need Xanax blowdarts
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
