I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
