I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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