I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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