Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
