I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
