You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
no. you can't hotbox the world.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
