You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
