I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
