I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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