just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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