She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
