Redeem this text for a blowjob
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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