I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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