It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
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Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize