Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
