i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
