i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
