The beer is more important than you right now.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize