after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I want to fling myself into the sun
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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