he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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