he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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