sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
