Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
