i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
