I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
