I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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