I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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