tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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