I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize