You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
