I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I have post one night stand depression
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