so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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