Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
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Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
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All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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