Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Randomize
