I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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