I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
