you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
