That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
and you fell through a lawn chair
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
