Tell her she can't have a vagina
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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