I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
