I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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