I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
