Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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