My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
It's not a walk of shame if you run
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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