too bad you live with your parents still
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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