You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
