You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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