I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
