Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize