Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org

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  (631): If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org http://tfl.nu/anvp
  Replies (31) Good night (880) Bad night (3238)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?

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  (978): I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to? http://tfl.nu/b64u
  Replies (21) Good night (4230) Bad night (728)
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  (949): View more from California

  Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?

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  (949): Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk? http://tfl.nu/zd5j
  Replies (5) Good night (3348) Bad night (910)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.

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  (765): Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick. http://tfl.nu/t3m9
  Replies (8) Good night (1362) Bad night (832)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Man, jail baloney is awful.

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  (516): Man, jail baloney is awful. http://tfl.nu/9ubn
  Replies (33) Good night (1055) Bad night (4065)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.

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  (206): I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve. http://tfl.nu/axt4
  Replies (1) Good night (2183) Bad night (752)
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  (831): View more from California

  The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.

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  (831): The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half. http://tfl.nu/bj5u
  Replies (1) Good night (1721) Bad night (1094)
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  (276): View more from Virginia

  your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.

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  (276): your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight. http://tfl.nu/ity0
  Replies (7) Good night (1130) Bad night (763)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?

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  (717): Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic? http://tfl.nu/xm16
  Replies (7) Good night (539) Bad night (1105)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...

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  (717): You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat... http://tfl.nu/k4we
  Replies (1) Good night (446) Bad night (345)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon

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  (970): She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon http://tfl.nu/u33x
  Replies (0) Good night (567) Bad night (189)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering

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  (618): Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering http://tfl.nu/gyh2
  Replies (4) Good night (513) Bad night (249)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?

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  (618): You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming? http://tfl.nu/vj0c
  Replies (3) Good night (500) Bad night (709)
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  (962): View more from

  bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?

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  (962): bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in? http://tfl.nu/wfoe
  Replies (1) Good night (573) Bad night (166)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?

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  (210): Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay? http://tfl.nu/lfht
  Replies (5) Good night (697) Bad night (170)

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