Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?

(1-513): View more from Ohio

Every day of my life.

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(513): Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer? (1-513): Every day of my life. http://tfl.nu/2brt

Replies (12) Good night (4762) Bad night (950)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated

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(859): I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated http://tfl.nu/4ho0

Replies (38) Good night (4335) Bad night (1290)
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(707): View more from California

Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.

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(707): Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me. http://tfl.nu/6om9

Replies (14) Good night (3765) Bad night (1105)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.

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(508): the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful. http://tfl.nu/u6l8

Replies (14) Good night (834) Bad night (5866)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.

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(513): I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen. http://tfl.nu/9jnz

Replies (19) Good night (5341) Bad night (1030)
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(941): View more from Florida

Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.

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(941): Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship. http://tfl.nu/y8rh

Replies (21) Good night (5611) Bad night (1158)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.

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(412): dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes. http://tfl.nu/34tx

Replies (20) Good night (920) Bad night (2438)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?

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(225): Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night? http://tfl.nu/sidd

Replies (7) Good night (714) Bad night (850)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.

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(816): Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion. http://tfl.nu/6cof

Replies (12) Good night (1127) Bad night (869)
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(310): View more from California

Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?

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(310): Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end? http://tfl.nu/mjc4

Replies (3) Good night (1852) Bad night (599)
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(619): View more from California

He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.

(760): View more from California

Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.

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(619): He is just a personification of a vodka hangover. (760): Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes. http://tfl.nu/e8aw

Replies (1) Good night (1100) Bad night (548)
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(775): View more from Nevada

He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits

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(775): He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits http://tfl.nu/c5ul

Replies (4) Good night (805) Bad night (543)
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(907): View more from Alaska

NO TEQUILA

(1-907): View more from Alaska

Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead

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(907): NO TEQUILA (1-907): Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead http://tfl.nu/zozh

Replies (0) Good night (541) Bad night (231)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.

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(919): All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there. http://tfl.nu/arna

Replies (1) Good night (652) Bad night (262)
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(208): View more from Idaho

Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?

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(208): Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess? http://tfl.nu/auqt

Replies (6) Good night (843) Bad night (244)

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