Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.

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(214): did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date. http://tfl.nu/9ydt

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(206): View more from Washington

I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!

(253): View more from Washington

Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.

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(206): I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night! (253): Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out. http://tfl.nu/4dtb

Replies (68) Good night (1083) Bad night (3104)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.

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(717): So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC. http://tfl.nu/vvcv

Replies (89) Good night (2924) Bad night (426) Order T-Shirt
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over

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(608): I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over http://tfl.nu/rs0c

Replies (32) Good night (1365) Bad night (5382) Order T-Shirt
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(910): View more from North Carolina

after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it

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(910): after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it http://tfl.nu/b99n

Replies (48) Good night (2711) Bad night (5954) Order T-Shirt
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(330): View more from Ohio

beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it

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(330): beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it http://tfl.nu/hhxp

Replies (5) Good night (2895) Bad night (1035) Order T-Shirt
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(772): View more from Florida

I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.

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(772): I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do. http://tfl.nu/7vxu

Replies (23) Good night (2664) Bad night (566) Order T-Shirt
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(540): View more from Virginia

my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.

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(540): my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened. http://tfl.nu/bhgb

Replies (47) Good night (1899) Bad night (518) Order T-Shirt
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now

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(203): Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now http://tfl.nu/p7dd

Replies (2) Good night (1220) Bad night (554) Order T-Shirt
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(808): View more from Hawaii

Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex

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(808): Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex http://tfl.nu/i4z0

Replies (13) Good night (497) Bad night (2950) Order T-Shirt
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.

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(+44): When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone. http://tfl.nu/uct6

Replies (4) Good night (430) Bad night (1074)
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(352): View more from Florida

I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...

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(352): I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection... http://tfl.nu/jbgn

Replies (20) Good night (1732) Bad night (495) Order T-Shirt
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.

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(919): I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement. http://tfl.nu/xeg4

Replies (1) Good night (396) Bad night (521)
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(716): View more from New York

That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information

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(716): That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information http://tfl.nu/q7xv

Replies (3) Good night (822) Bad night (200) Order T-Shirt
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(61): View more from Australia

Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair

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(61): Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair http://tfl.nu/j3o5

Replies (6) Good night (386) Bad night (195)

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