Texts From Last Night

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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame

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  (978): my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame http://tfl.nu/nyuc
  Replies (11) Good night (1017) Bad night (3261)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.

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  (631): Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans. http://tfl.nu/f9ad
  Replies (74) Good night (4251) Bad night (2016)
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  (714): View more from California

  why do cheetos always look like penises

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  (714): why do cheetos always look like penises http://tfl.nu/nqxj
  Replies (41) Good night (3806) Bad night (1467)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.

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  (262): I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom. http://tfl.nu/hw22
  Replies (13) Good night (5785) Bad night (1245)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS

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  (419): All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS http://tfl.nu/2lvs
  Replies (17) Good night (4162) Bad night (2150)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7

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  (404): She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7 http://tfl.nu/xypt
  Replies (13) Good night (6438) Bad night (1027)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..

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  (503): I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus.. http://tfl.nu/6jqk
  Replies (12) Good night (1251) Bad night (3807)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.

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  (503): i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding. http://tfl.nu/0bxz
  Replies (10) Good night (883) Bad night (2988)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.

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  (917): I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus. http://tfl.nu/e2af
  Replies (9) Good night (4333) Bad night (1166)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell

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  (601): answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell http://tfl.nu/66yz
  Replies (3) Good night (2067) Bad night (1394)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.

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  (614): I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing. http://tfl.nu/nz2e
  Replies (11) Good night (1236) Bad night (1618)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.

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  (336): Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom. http://tfl.nu/g9fv
  Replies (2) Good night (1301) Bad night (774)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter

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  (717): Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter http://tfl.nu/zraa
  Replies (5) Good night (655) Bad night (1740)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.

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  (515): Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type. http://tfl.nu/lvgz
  Replies (1) Good night (629) Bad night (685)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.

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  (404): We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops. http://tfl.nu/nz3t
  Replies (0) Good night (648) Bad night (416)

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