I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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